“Take a seat and grab a doughnut.”

It’s funny what sticks with young people.
We can all remember a phrase, a quirk, or a saying from a teacher or coach that’s lodged itself in our memory — sometimes for decades.

On Saturday I joined a group of my former pupils as they remembered their good friend Ben, who tragically passed away five years ago. Ben was a star — in life and on the rugby field. I’ll never forget him playing on the wing in the U16 Cup Final at Murrayfield in 2014, where he won Player of the Match. His loss was devastating, but his friends have honoured him ever since through fundraising for Papyrus and by continuing the conversations around mental health that matter so much.

This weekend they climbed all the peaks of Edinburgh, then gathered at the rugby club to share food, stories and laughter. Despite being exhausted after a long week, I left feeling re-energised. There’s something special about being in the company of people who truly have each other’s backs.

At one point, one of the lads brought up the “Friday break club” I used to run. Every week they’d give up their break time for analysis, planning, and preparation — so I’d buy them doughnuts to sweeten the deal. Cue one of them quoting the old line: “Take a seat and grab a doughnut.” Apparently, it’s still used as an inside joke in their group to this very day.

I had no idea that such a small thing had made such a lasting impact. It made me laugh — and it really touched me.

Because the truth is, the little things matter. The throwaway phrases, the rituals, the habits… they build belonging, connection, and memories that stick.

That’s what I saw on Saturday: a band of brothers who have shared the highs, survived the lows, and continue to stand by each other — and by Ben’s family.

It’s a reminder to me, and maybe to all of us, that everything we say and do leaves a mark.
The question is — will that mark help someone feel seen, supported, and part of something bigger?

So here’s to catchphrases, to doughnuts, and to the power of small things that turn out not to be small at all.